First published in New Community Quarterly Vol.7 No.2 Winter 2009. p.51
I know you want to be a Tarragon of virtue
but you’re really a bit of a Dill –
Australia’s Basil Faulty.
I heard you say that you wanted to be a Sage
and you think that your brain’s worth a Mint
but in this recession things are getting a little Chilli.
Someone told me you wanted to be a Star, Anise –
but failed when you auditioned for Sesame Street.
So you tried to Ginger up your sex life?
Some thought you’d make a Dandelion
if you hadn’t had an affair with Rosemary and Lemon Myrtle
and been flirting with that Nut Meg.
I just wish you’d stop Chiving off when you’re needed.
Maybe your Thyme will come –
you old Kaffir leaf;
though you’ll probably be too busy playing Marjoram
with your Chinese friends or
getting up to silly Capers with Fenugreeks.
Copyright © 2021 John Tomlinson