The Turdbull Government

The time has come to talk of kings and cabbages and the Turdbull Government. The leader of this government, Malcolm of Point Piper, is the least inspiring member of the government. He has engaged in anti-Chinese rhetoric claiming we are subject to undue influence from Coke Cola Communists. He wants you to register as an agent of a foreign power if you dare speak to anyone who might pass on foreign ideas, particularly ideas which might increase disharmony and lead to a loss of support for neo-liberal fascism.

You can talk to Indian coal miners who want to destroy the Reef in fact he is in the process of working with Adani subcontractors to fund rail infrastructure which will facilitate not only Adani’s mega mine but the lovely dainty Gina’s mine and others in the soon to become the biggest hole in Queensland. This area is currently home to a number of threatened species and the traditional lands of several Aboriginal groups. Gosh Frydenberg, environment denier, has pointed out that, once the Great Barrier Reef is no longer there, there will be less hazards to shipping and as a result the price of exporting coal will go down.

Now, I have to admit that I once talked to a foreign looking person who, with malicious intent, encouraged me to oppose neo-liberal racism, downward envy, and the denigration of non-affluent people so I guess unless he can be identified by Peter Glutton’s Borderfarce or Un-Christian Porter’s office as an Strayan then I will have to register as an agent of a foreign power. But which one? I have passed his underpants size on to the Glutton and Un-Christain and am hoping they’ll be able to track him down.

But I am worried by the logic of their proposed foreign conspiracy legislation. If I talk to a Strayan person who may not resemble the Glutton and that person encourages me to oppose neo-liberal racism, genocide, continuing dispossession of Aborigines, indifference towards asylum seeker languishing in our offshore gulags and downward envy then shouldn’t I have to register as an agent of Straya?

If I advocate policies not totally approved of Michaelia Cash or Malcolm or the Glutton will I be taken hence forth to the Traitors Prison? What will happen to me should I do or say something likely to perturb some of the least intelligent Strayans who are members of the Young Liberals?

I think it’s best I just run and hide in the disused doldrums of the Institute of Pubic Affairs or some other right wing Stink Tank.