She spent nearly twenty years
wandering in the land of the lost,
that wilderness pinioned between
students’ incessant demands
and academics’ obstinacy.

Somehow she survived sane,
even when surrounded by:
confused counselors,
pedantic psychologists,
somnambulant sociologists,
hysterical historians,
and even social workers.

Students are going to miss her sympathetic advocacy of their needs.
Staff are going to miss her loyalty and support.
It would appear from what I hear
that academics are never AWOL – they are working from home;
students are never slack – overdue assignments are caused by unavoidable crises.

Academics she will no longer need to gently goad
she’s leaving us for the Great Ocean Road
she is going to be able to shed that coaxing load
I hope she finds retirement a yellow brick road
And that she gets to meet the Wizard of OZ.

Written on the retirement of Dix Woodward circa 2004