John (Howard) went out on a chilly night

Poem written just prior to 2004 election

John went out on a chilly night,
He prayed for voters to see him right,
For he’d many a trick to play that night,
Before he reached the Lodge-o, Lodge-o, Lodge-o,
He’d many a lie to tell that night,
Before he reached the Lodge-o.

He fibbed til he saw a great opening,
Where there were many voters to fleece therein,
“Everyone of you will cease to grin,
Before I leave this Lodge-o, Lodge-o, Lodge-o,
Everyone of you will cease to grin,
Before I leave this Lodge-o.”

He grabbed supporters by their neck,
Saying “This is no time for turning back”,
He didn’t mind their quack, quack, quack,
With their hopes a-dangling down-o, down-o, down-o,
He didn’t mind their quack, quack, quack,
And their hopes a-dangling down-o.

Then all the Flipper-Floppers jumped out of bed,
The truth had reared its ugly head,
Crying, “John, John! The last chance is gone,
And Latham is in the Lodge-o, Lodge-o, Lodge-o!”
Crying, “John, John! All hope is gone,
And Latham is in the Lodge-o!”

Bob Brown went to the top of the hill,
Blowed his horn both loud and shrill,
John Howard said, “I better flee or they’ll kill,
Yes they’ll soon be on my trail-o, trail-o, trail-o!”
John Howard said, “I’ll be lost with time to kill,
I’d better hit the trail-o!”

He ran till he came to his cozy den,
There were the stragglers, eight, nine, ten,
They said, “Costello, better go back again,
‘Cause it must be a mighty fine Lodge-o, Lodge-o, Lodge-o!”
They said, “Costello, better go back again,
‘Cause it must be a mighty fine Lodge-o!

Then John and Janet without any strife,
Cut up the goose with a fork and knife,
They never had such a supper in their life,
And the little ones chewed on the bones-o, bones-o, bones-o,
They never had such a supper in their life,
And the little ones chewed on the bones-o.