Written in 2007


Howardspeak is gathering quite a vocabulary.  It’s a simple formula: take a well-known concept, add an adjective, change (reverse?) the meaning.

‘core promise’ = promise you happen to keep (as opposed to a promise, which you break)

‘not a racist’ = a racist

‘Australian multiculturalism’ = monoculture

‘all of us’ = not one of them

‘regional services’ = user pays

‘Howard’s battlers’ = swinging voters

‘rural Australia’ = swinging voters

‘small business’ = swinging voters

Remember Ned Kelly was a swinging voter in his day

‘social coalition’ = look after yourself

‘mutual obligation’ = work for your betters for nothing

‘welfare reform’ = robbing the poor to assist the needy rich

‘states’ rights’ = human wrongs

‘new tax system’ = tax breaks for the rich

‘business philanthropy’ = tax break for the rich

’employee entitlements’ = money employees aren’t entitled to which bosses can use for such important facilities improvements  such as refurbishing the Boardroom.

‘conscience vote’ =  not in Howard vocabulary

‘mandatory sentencing’ = mandatory imprisonment of black bastards

‘constitutional convention’ = method of keeping the conventional constitution

‘Australian head of state’ = UK head of state

‘stolen generation’ = rescued generation

‘Australian history’ = looking to a future without black arm bands

‘deep regret’ = no apology

‘past blemishes’ = no apology

‘practical reconciliation’ = it’s practically time youse black bastards reconciled yourselves to what we’re doing to ya.