Written circa 2006.
A spokesthing for the Prime Minister, John Howard, said today ” The PM is exceedingly pleased with the latest poll results which showed his Government is now 12% behind Labor in two party preferred terms. Mr. Howard was particularly pleased that the Australian people now believe that the war in Iraq was wrong. The Prime Minister was a little surprised that so many people said they like his budget even though he’d only given tax cuts to those earning over $52,000.”
The spokesthing went on to say that he personally believed that the Howard Government was even more unpopular than the polls give them credit for. He said “This means that if an election was held soon Labor would undoubtedly win. John Howard has only ever had one reason he wanted to be Prime Minister and that was to stop that silly smirking little twerp Peter Costello being Prime Minister. John Howard has been determined that history would record that he and only he could single handed prevent the Costello ascension. The only way he could think of that would ensure the Liberals were saved from Treasurer Costello becoming Prime Minister was to lose by such a margin that Costello would not be able to claw his way back at a subsequent election.”
The spokesthing went on to say “You don’t think John Howard liked dismantling Medicare, locking up poor defenceless asylum seekers and their children in outback concentration camps, constantly having to denigrate Aborigines and breaching hundreds of thousand social security recipients each year, do you? John Howard is relieved that he wont have do it much longer. He wants to return to the suburbs and spend his time painting his white picket fence and fixing up his FJ Holden. He just asks that all citizens remember he did it to Australia”.
Written circa 2006.
Copyright © 2023 John Tomlinson