Kirribilli Press Release

Written just prior to 2007 election.


Dear Editor

I have just had a security update from The Office of National Assessment.

It would appear that John Howard has taken Janet and the kids up on to the roof at Kirribilli and is threatening to throw them off the roof unless the Australian people vote Liberal tomorrow.  Clearly Howard is presuming on Australian people’s humanity and compassion.

Such offensive illegal queue jumping is to be resisted. There have been people waiting for years in third world countries for the chance to throw themselves off the roof at Kirribilli House.

The Navy has been instructed to get him down and take him on a Pacific holiday to Manus or Nauru.