QUT Press Release

The Deagon Institute embargoed until 1/5/1984.

The Deagon Institute today released details of QUT’s new marketing strategy following it’s decision to abolish Bachelor of Social Science, Humanities and Arts Degrees from its 2008 profile.
QUT new come-in-sucker enrolments slogan will be:
“Building a real world for Philistines.”

QUT hopes to more than make up the income loss it will suffer once it can no longer extract fees from Carseldine Arts, Humanities, Human Service and Ethics students.

A spokesperson for the University said, “Once we’ve got rid of these peripheral courses we will no longer have to pretend that we have:

• any appreciation of the Arts,
• any regard for humanity,
• any desire to be of service to humans,
• or any idea what is ethical.

We’ll be able to: sell seats to:

• John Howard’s Australian Writhing Lecture series,
• get free ethical advice from Hugh Morgan (who has already suggested that we make lecture staff available to ease the existing labour shortage),
• ensure that all our senior staff attend Creative accounting courses at Creative Industries – not just the few as at present,
• and boost our content free offerings in hard core units like:Interrogating Work Choices employees who refuse to sign their AWAs,
  Getting a sociological understanding of Poverty by studying nude photography, and Tap dance your way to an understanding of Social History.

Written circa 2004