Shuttle Spider update

NASA’s inquiries into Space Shuttle Columbia’s flight STS-107 have just revealed that the shuttle crashed because the Australian spiders and at least one of the astronauts conspired with Saddam Hussein and Osama bin Laden to destroy the flight. This should come as no surprise to anyone who knows spiders. A spider tried to bite my daddy.

Just look at the evil dictator Saddam Hussein not only does he look like a spider his initials “SH” are short for Spider Hazard. In addition just look at the initials of Osama bin Laden “OBL”. In fact the last words recorded on the ill-fated shuttle’s flight recorder were “ Oh bloody ‘ll. This, intelligence sources reveal, was shorthand for Osama bin Laden.

Now is the time to act. Saddam can no longer deny his association with Osama bin Laden- his time’s up, we must invade Iraq to prevent further possible spider terrorism.

Following George Bush’s announcement that spiders had conspired with Saddam to unsettle the shuttle a controversy has broken out amongst two leading QUT spider experts. Victor Hart believes the spiders were Trapdoors who caused the crash by opening the escape hatch however Judith Burton insists they were Black Widows.

Written 2003