Written in the run up to the 2016 election

To all my dear friends in the Liberal and National Parties I say hold your nerve. I know it’s hard but we haven’t lost the next election yet. I know that the doubters amongst us will claim that that is only because it hasn’t been held, but don’t listen to the Thomases.

It is true that the previous captain is behaving like a spoilt brat and attempting to rain on Malcolm’s parade and some of the previous prefects like Otto Abetz from Tasmania and the previous Defence Minister, the man who has done more than any other politician to stop Northern Territorians from volunteering for euthanasia, have been leaking all over the place. But do not be perturbed Malcolm has arranged for Kevin Andrews and Otto to undergo operations to their nether regions that should fix the problem for once and all.

I know that Michelle Grattan claims that Labor’s Chris Bowen is beating the pants off Scott Morrison on the economic front but dear friends she only said it n the ABC’s breakfast program and in some obscure university rag – so it doesn’t count.

Australians understand that the Liberal Party is insurmountable on economic matters – we’ve had some great Treasurers like Joe Hockey – his 2014 Budget is the blueprint for the future – we still reign supreme in this regard.

Hold your nerve. Even if Malcolm is forced to cut Scott Morrison loose as Treasurer we have one more shot in the locker. We can get someone else to supervise the incarceration of asylum seeking children and put Peter Dutton in charge of Treasury.