Drafted March 3, 2019
Peter Dutton and Scott Morrison, with Abbott lurking in the background, today announced that they have prepared a Bill to fast-track deportations from Australia. They called upon Naughty Mr Billy Shorten and the crossbench to back them to the hilt at the Budget sitting on the morning of 1st April 2019. Peter Dutton said it was crucial to act swiftly if the economy was going to be saved and negative gearing protected.
Scott Morrison said it was “A fair dinkum deportation policy unlike anything which the Labor Party has the wit to invent.” He said it was the Deportation 2.0 policy specifically designed to rid Australia of wastrels, beggars, incompetents, those not pulling their weight and bludgers.
Dutton has unveiled a list of undesirables he intends to deport forthwith, they include:
Dutton, announced he had a crack team of Borderfarce Black Shirts ready to descend on to these miscreants. He said, “The guard dogs have been stationed in secluded spots in suburbs, Christmas Island detention centre has been reopened, contracts have been signed with Paladin and Aeroflot. As soon as the Labor Party stops being a party pooper we can get rid of them from our shores.”
Copyright © 2022 John Tomlinson