The Republic of Deagon.
Embargoed until 9.00am yesterday.
President John Tomlinson announced today he had signed the deed of exclusion separating Australia from Deagon for tax and migration purposes.
President Tomlinson declared that he was willing to allow the Australian Government to continue to pay social security and provide medicare benefits to Deagonites.
“We did not want to unilaterally declare Australia’s separation from the Republic of Deagon but it was forced upon us by people from other Brisbane suburbs trying to enter our country. People from Boondal have been using the footbridge over Cabbage Tree Creek to enter Deagon. Some asylum seekers had been arriving at the Deagon Railway Station without proper documentation. Car drivers from as far away as New South Wales had been circumventing the Deagon Deviation and driving straight through the Republic. Pensioners from Sandgate have been sighted walking towards Deagon. We can not continue to allow Australians to presume on our compassion and humanity.” Tomlinson said.
President Tomlinson declared that “Unlike Australia’s Brother No.2, Phillip Ruddock, I am not suffering paranoid delusions about imaginary wooden boats overcrowded with asylum seekers arriving in Cabbage Tree Creek. I have no intention of excising, for migration purposes, any of the low lying mangrove islands in Cabbage Tree Creek from the Republic of Deagon. There are wooden boats in our creek but they are part of our fishing fleet.”
Copyright © 2020 John Tomlinson