Mandatory sentencing

Written by John Tomlinson & Pete Hancock to acknowledge Shane Stone’s various roles in introducing mandatory sentencing in the Northern Territory, directed mainly at incarcerating young or homeless Aborigines.

Let me tell you a little story
I know you’ll want to hear
I achieved the rank of Major
in my military career.

I wasn’t going anywhere
I was neither here nor there
but I achieved the rank of Major
in my illustrious career.

I then got into politics
there was very little choice
I was useless for almost everything,
but then I heard God’s voice.

I’m not a legal eagle,
but I can tell what’s right
I refuse to read or learn things,
You see, I’m not too bright.

If we lock ’em up for long enough
and throw away the key
that should win us lots of votes
in our Northern Territory.

I’m pushing a new dogma
it’s called victimology.
We always play the racist card
in the Northern Territory.

I made myself Attorney General
I had confidence in me.
And it’s going to be mandated
that I’m the next QC.

If you’re black or poor or homeless
or a greenie from the south
or a dreaded southern stirrer
we’ll shut your bloody mouth.

The punishment’s a trifle,
just a mandatory term.
and even if it costs a lot,
you’ll sure have time to learn.

We’re doing you all a favour
That’s what you fail to see;
and everyone’s protected
everyone ‘cept me.

I’m not a flamin scholar,
just drawing up good law,
for my Country Liberal colleagues
all fascists to the core.

The justice system’s buggered
corrupted for some time,
I’m going to make a difference,
make the punishment fit the crime.

If you steal a pack of bikkies,
or commit a venial sin
you’ll be inside for Xmas, son
three strikes and you’re in.

Don’t preach to us about the law
or what the UN said,
the message is – when kids offend,
they’ll probably end up dead.