Published in New Community Quarterly, vol 11, no 4. 2013
I have just been talking to Julie Bishop who assures me that David Hicks volunteered to go to Guantanamo Bay Cuba in the mistaken belief it was a Caribbean Holiday Resort.
Furthermore she told me that whilst the naughty Labor Party might have spied on Indonesia in the past, since that nice Mr Abbott assumed the reigns in our fair land all of the nonsense ceased. She tells me that now it is the Indonesians who are spying on us.
I have also been talking to that nice Mr Greg Hunt who let me into Labor’s dirty little secret about Ms Gillard’s Giant New Tax, apparently Ms Gillard on the urging of the naughty Greens undermined our economy for the next millennium by imposing a price on Carbon. Greg told me that the sneaky Mr Shorten and all the other faceless men in the Labor Party are planning to keep a price on Carbon. Greg said that once we’ve removed the price on carbon, poverty will be abolished and that we won’t have to sell our first born into slavery.
The Business Council of Australia today announced that the price of electricity may not be lowered after the removal of the Carbon Tax – in the short term. If we can judge from the past 50 years it definitely won’t come down in the long term. However my mate Greg Hunt told me that if the price of goods does not come down (after the removal of the Carbon Tax) it will be Labor’s fault and that you should blame Labor for not acting to remove a price on carbon before it was imposed.
Mr Morrison said today that “asylum seekers” by which he meant nasty illegal tinted coloured foreigners who had no legitimate claim to be here because they were economic migrants who faked the disappearances or murders of family members were cunningly faking their own deaths or detention once we had successfully returned them to Afghanistan and Sri Lanka.
My mate Tony Abbott said today that because the budget was an absolute Labor shambles he would scrap Labor’s plan to place a 15% tax on superannuation payments in excess of $100,000 per annum. In addition, in order to make up for Labor’s mismanagement of the budget deficit he would also scrap Labor’s plan to give low income earners $500 a year payment into their superannuation fund.
Tony told me that this was the Liberal Party’s understanding of equitable treatment for both rich and poor.
Welcome to Straya, a land of opportunity for the deserving few.
Copyright © 2020 John Tomlinson